Posts Tagged ‘ real life ’

Why I Cried While Watching Invictus

posted by matt

I listen to a lot of music. If you are one of my (unfortunate) Facebook friends you have no doubt been spammed by incessant updates of what I’m listening to. I listen while I’m at home. I stream tunes whenever I’m driving. I do most of my listening alone. And there are times when I don’t listen: walking, sleeping, studying (occasionally). Sometimes it’s a leisurely activity – but more often than not I’ve come to realize that for me listening to music is a form of consumption. I’ll prowl around a blend of blogs, friends’ recommendations, or news, hungry like a wolf for a new sound which falls positively on the ear. I’ll pick an album based on some mix of criteria above and I will figuratively eat that album. I’ll attentively chew threw the album song by song, and either I’ll star a given song and add it to the master list1 (which, in theory is everything I like to listen to) or if I don’t like the song, I’ll dismiss it with no star and move to the next track.2 Sometimes the process occurs in the form of a snap judgment (a la Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink3) or sometimes I can’t make up my mind and decide it takes at least a couple more listens to determine tare or wheat. I have two primary motivations for this musical feast (1) to satiate my hunger to taste something new and different or (2) to familiarize myself with the work of groups, artists, or composers who have, in some form or another, become legendary or immortalized.4

At least that’s how I understand it in my mind. Seems pretty indulgent! But I’ve wondered if in my defence there is there some greater benefit or effect which I’m not realizing? Where does the hunger come from? There may be more that’s going on here. Before I go further I’ll ask the reader: why do you listen to music? Does it change your mood? Does it change who you are? Is it a social activity? Do answer those questions before you read further.

I stumbled upon some research in the UK and US entitled “English and American Adolescents’ Reasons for Listening to Music”5 by North, Tarrant, and Hargreaves which reveals some primary factors as to why individuals 15-276 listen to music.

Historically, research on the subject has indicated that people ages 15-27 “typically report listening to music in order to help pass time, relieve boredom / loneliness, and to create a good mood. (Zillman and Gann 1997).” The study by North et. al. sheds further light on particular reasons this demographic listens to music which are categorized by the author into three buckets:

  1. for reasons of self-actualization
  2. to fulfil emotional needs
  3. to fulfil social needs

Particularly, factor analysis performed on the data revealed these suggested buckets are made up of specific reasons for listening, such as:

  • to enjoy the music (emotional)
  • to be creative / use imagination (self-actualization)
  • to be popular with others (social)
  • to relieve boredom (emotional)
  • to express feelings / emotions (self-actualization)
  • to reduce loneliness (emotional & social)
  • and more

Other insights provided from the study I found interesting or I thought may pertain to me:

  • US respondents listen to more music than UK respondents
  • 22.8% of US respondents reported “other” as a reason they listen to music (there is clearly still unexplored area as to why people do it)
  • US males reported listening to music more for self-actualizing reasons than any other group
  • US participants who reported listening to music mostly alone, or who reported listening to the same amount of music in the company of friends as they did alone, also reported listening more to fulfil emotional needs than did those who listened mainly with others.
  • If you allege to have a high-level of musical experience, you listen to music for more self-actualizing reasons than if you have medium- or low-level experience

I’ve known for a while now that my favorite songs are sad songs. Which is sort of an irony; I don’t consider myself an eeyore, nor do I think people take me as a sad individual. My demeanor is generally easy going, light-hearted, happy (though not always). In light of this research, I believe that music is an emotional outlet for me. I don’t cry in “real life”7 very often so I use an outlet through music to fulfil the emotional need to cry. I may not feel particularly sad in a given moment, but if you were to play Bon Iver’s For Emma, Forever Ago8 or Beck’s Sea Change, I would feel truly and deeply sad. Or for another example, I rarely have angry outbursts, but Rage Against the Machine is a definite favorite group; not one I listen to every day but at certain points it is the right choice. “Who controls the past now, controls the future; who controls the present now, controls the past…who controls the present now?!”9

So why, when I recently watched the film Invictus, did I weep like a baby? The music. And because I needed to. The traditional South African folk song Shosholoza10 building harmoniously in the background and reaching its Zenith with the final Springbok penalty goal kicked through the uprights did me in. Triumph! Elation. Nevermind that the movie is at times cheesy, or that Matt Damon’s South African accent is laughable, or the fact that I’ve never played rugby nor have I had comparable experience to apartheid and all the prejudice that went down in South Africa as contextualized in the movie.11 It was an emotional release I needed, as spurred by sound. And I really do need those moments – I ask myself when was the last time I cried about something? I can’t remember. Maybe the Justin Bieber biopic?12

In closing, I’ve pointed to some findings in this research that relate to me – think about why you listen to music and what it does for you. Some people want to know all the “latest bands” and sort of flaunt them like a peacock. Others I know are very private about what they listen to. I’d love to hear anyone’s response of why they listen to music, no matter the context. Thanks for “listening.”

Endnotes

  1. My spotify starred playlist
  2. This behavioral pattern is not unlike what The Sneetches went through.
  3. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
  4. You may be wondering how I afford this expensive indulgence? Well before a few years ago, yes, it was expensive, and at times limited by a proper budget. But with the advent of Spotify however this hunger is limited only by the Spotify catalogue (2nd only to iTunes) and time. I’ll put it this way that my Spotify premium membership is immaterial compared to my previous annual spend on digital music.
  5. Download it here
  6. Disclaimer: I am twenty-eight, but people frequently guess that I’m twenty-two or -four. Also my horoscope is Aquarius.
  7. Real life.
  8. It should be disclosed that this album consoled me after a bad break up. Maybe this fact trumps any other circumstantial or situational effect and just makes me sad no matter what. Also, these albums are both ostensibly albums written after really serious relationships or bad breakups.
  9. Lyric taken from George Orwell’s 1984.
  10. Another great rendition of Shosholoza by Ladysmith Black Mambazo
  11. I do however, love deeply the namesake poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
  12. Unconfirmed